In the Middle… of Work-Life Balance: Myth or Reality?

Debby Marindin
Aug 16, 2025
5 min read

I wouldn’t say I’ve struggled with work-life balance my entire life. For years, I worked hard to measure up to what the Baby Boomer leaders around me expected—long hours, constant availability, and a willingness to put work first, always. I wore it like a badge of honor, proof that I was dedicated and capable.

In recent years, though, I’ve been chasing the elusive “work-life balance,” and if I’m being honest, I’ve rarely caught it. I recognize that I am often the issue. Some weeks, my job consumes every ounce of my time and energy. Other weeks, I try to reclaim lost moments—only to feel like I’m neglecting something important at work. I’ve answered emails at midnight, skipped family dinners for “just one more meeting,” and convinced myself that I’d catch up on rest over the weekend (spoiler: I didn’t).

Today, I work two part-time jobs—adjunct faculty and instructional design—alongside one full-time role as an IT training specialist and instructional technologist. While I no longer carry the title or responsibility of a director managing a team, the standards I hold for my own work remain high.

I’m not alone. Many of us juggle demanding workloads, personal responsibilities, and a constant stream of pings and notifications that blur the boundaries between office and home. The question is—are we even chasing the right goal? Or is the version of “balance” we’ve been sold just another modern myth?

The Boundary Problem

While I’ve learned a lot about time management, one of my biggest challenges is saying no—especially when someone asks for my help. Whether it’s volunteering for an extra project at work or agreeing to “just one more” commitment in my personal life, my default is often yes. The result? My calendar fills up before I realize what I’ve committed to, and my so-called balance tips toward burnout.

Research suggests this is a common issue for high-performing professionals. Ury (2007) calls it learning to give a “positive no”—declining requests in a way that preserves relationships while protecting your time. Baumeister and Tierney (2011) recommend delaying responses to give yourself time to evaluate your capacity. Grant (2014) advises practicing with small, low-risk refusals to build confidence for bigger ones. And some experts suggest creating a “stop-doing” list—deliberately identifying activities to drop so you can focus on what matters most.

Where the Concept Began

The term work-life balance emerged in the U.S. during the 1980s as women’s participation in the workforce increased and two-income households became more common (Kelliher et al., 2019). Initially, it was framed as a women’s issue, tied to balancing childcare and careers. Over time, it evolved into a universal aspiration linked to productivity, health, and retention (Haar et al., 2014).

Reality Check: What the Research Says

A 2023 Gallup report found that only 35% of U.S. employees strongly agree they can manage both work and personal life effectively (Gallup, 2023). Research continues to show that work-life balance is associated with higher job satisfaction, better mental health, and lower turnover intentions (Allen et al., 2023; Haar et al., 2014). However, barriers remain significant:

Occupation matters – Healthcare, education, and tech employees report the highest burnout rates (Gallup, 2023).
Annual hours worked – Americans average 1,811 hours annually, compared to 1,388 in Germany and 1,607 in the U.K. (OECD, 2024).
Cultural norms – In countries like France, legal protections for vacation time and limits on after-hours work create stronger boundaries between work and home (Pichler & Wallace, 2009).

Barriers in the U.S. Workplace

Always-On Culture – Smartphones and messaging platforms have erased the natural boundary of the workday. The U.S. lacks the “right to disconnect” laws found in parts of Europe.
Economic Pressures – Inflation and rising costs of living compel many to work overtime or take on side gigs, further eroding personal time.
Organizational Expectations – Many workplaces still equate long hours with dedication, despite evidence that overwork decreases productivity (Park et al., 2020).

Is Balance the Right Goal?

Some researchers advocate for work-life integration instead of rigid balance, suggesting that flexibility, autonomy, and value alignment may matter more than perfectly equal time allocation (Kossek & Lee, 2017). Globally, models vary:

Netherlands – Average workweek of 30.3 hours is linked with high life satisfaction and productivity (OECD, 2024).
Japan – Government campaigns to curb karoshi (death by overwork) show the urgent health consequences of imbalance (Kanai, 2009).

Strategies Backed by Research

Boundary Setting – Communicate working hours clearly to colleagues (Allen et al., 2023).
Flexible Arrangements – Negotiate remote or hybrid schedules where possible.
Prioritize Recovery – Sleep, exercise, and mental breaks increase performance and resilience.
Take Your Leave – Nearly half of U.S. workers don’t use all their vacation days (U.S. Travel Association, 2023).

Conclusion: Myth, Reality, or Something Else?

For many U.S. workers, achieving perfect work-life balance may be unrealistic under current economic and cultural conditions. But redefining the goal—shifting toward work-life integration, advocating for supportive policies, and holding ourselves accountable for setting boundaries—can help us move from chasing an illusion to creating a life we can sustain. I do make time to sail, go to the theater and concerts, have game nights with friends, and spend time with family—but the real challenge is leaving the computer off when I return from these activities. Pardon the pun, but I’m a WORK in progress.

References

Allen, T. D., Johnson, R. C., Kiburz, K. M., & Shockley, K. M. (2023). Work–family conflict and flexible work arrangements: Deconstructing flexibility. Personnel Psychology, 76(1), 5–30. https://doi.org/10.1111/peps.12514

Baumeister, R. F., & Tierney, J. (2011). Willpower: Rediscovering the greatest human strength. Penguin Press.

Gallup. (2023). State of the global workplace: 2023 report. Gallup, Inc.

Grant, A. (2014). Give and take: Why helping others drives our success. Penguin Books.

Haar, J. M., Russo, M., Suñe, A., & Ollier-Malaterre, A. (2014). Outcomes of work–life balance on job satisfaction, life satisfaction and mental health: A study across seven cultures. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 85(3), 361–373. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jvb.2014.08.010

Kanai, A. (2009). Karoshi (Work to death) in Japan. Journal of Business Ethics, 84(2), 209–216. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10551-008-9701-8

Kelliher, C., Richardson, J., & Boiarintseva, G. (2019). All of work? All of life? Reconceptualising work–life balance for the 21st century. Human Resource Management Journal, 29(2), 97–112. https://doi.org/10.1111/1748-8583.12215

Kossek, E. E., & Lee, M. D. (2017). Implementing organizational work–life interventions: Toward a triple bottom line. Community, Work & Family, 20(1), 15–36. https://doi.org/10.1080/13668803.2016.1135540

Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development. (2024). Average annual hours actually worked per worker. OECD. https://stats.oecd.org/

Park, Y., Fritz, C., & Jex, S. M. (2020). Daily cyber incivility and distress: The moderating roles of resources at work and home. Journal of Management, 46(8), 1531–1556. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206320906889

Pichler, F., & Wallace, C. (2009). What are the reasons for differences in job satisfaction across Europe? Social Indicators Research, 91(3), 535–558. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11205-008-9358-2

Ury, W. (2007). The power of a positive no: Save the deal, save the relationship, and still say no. Bantam Books.

U.S. Travel Association. (2023). Vacation usage study. https://www.ustravel.org/